fox: jack is tired of listening to daniel (ack (by Lanning))
([personal profile] fox Dec. 9th, 2025 03:16 pm)

When we last met, it was November 3 and my mother's um-friend had just passed away and I was in wracks of agony about choices she had made at the beginning of that relationship and hoping that now that the relationship was, perforce, over, I wouldn't have to Deal quite so much with those choices anymore.

The next day, of course, was Election Day, and as you know, Bob, the good guys did pretty well all the way up and down the street. It was a good Tuesday night and a good Wednesday morning.

Which is why it was a surprise when I got to work Wednesday morning and I was still wound up way too tight and feeling much too upset to function and subject to four-or-five-minute crying jags for no obvious reason at random intervals. I did not like it. I have come to expect to feel like this—although not to this degree—for the month of October, but here it was October 36 and I wasn't feeling any better, and that hasn't happened in 12 years. So I said to my boss, in my daily check-in email, I think I'm also going to have to write up some ways I'm realizing my mental health has been not okay for a while now and regrettably may have been affecting my work. Always fun. (To his credit, he immediately said "Well, we've got to find some time for you to come talk to me, okay, because I see an employee say 'mental health,' I sit right up and pay attention.")

So I made a list. )

Update: HA HA HA when I began it on November 20, this was going to be a post about how I emailed my doctor on like November, I don't know, 5 or 6, and she immediately (like, by that weekend) agreed to double my dose of Lexapro, and within a couple of days I was breathing more easily, and I stopped crying so much of the time, and hopefully if that happens again one of us will realize it a lot sooner so I don't spend so long suffering? And then for some reason I was looking through the old entries in here and found where someone in one of my Discords said "panic attack" on July 23 and apparently none of us (self, Himself, my brother [who doesn't live locally but given that the major precipitating event was evidently moving my mom to memory care, his input is not irrelevant]) listened? So, erm, that wasn't our best collective decision, in retrospect.

And then it turns out it's a good thing I've bumped up my Lexapro dosing, because holy shit the first week of December has been what in the being-my-mom's-children racket could safely be called a humdinger in ways I simply cannot talk about right now. I can feel the tightness trying to tighten up my chest, in fact, and not being able to do it. It's something. But whoo boy.

wychwood: Rodney was very nearly impressed (SGA - Rodney impressed)
([personal profile] wychwood Dec. 9th, 2025 02:04 pm)
I made an automation flow that actually works!! I did realise afterwards that I need to add more error handling into it, but I am fully into celebrating the initial success right now.

Particularly because work is otherwise not as rich in successes as I would like. My inbox is a disaster area (everything in there requires action; I aim to keep it under 100 items and right now I'm running at 125 on a good day), the last report I actually completed in full was for July and I have a cumulative 2800 items to review in case they need moving, 900 duplicate records that need cleaning up, three test plans to write, an entire component that is supposed to go live before Christmas but which isn't with me for testing yet... and none of those things are even on the action tracker Boss Lady and I go through in my weekly 121.

But I did cross off one of my ten KANBAN items this morning and deleted two or three to-do list items. I'm hoping that tonight I will sleep instead of going for a series of one-hour naps all night, and maybe tomorrow I'll have the energy to tackle Power Automate...
wychwood: You could call science fiction my escape / but if so mainstream fiction was my prison (Fan - escape from mainstream)
([personal profile] wychwood Dec. 6th, 2025 11:47 am)
My boss gave me a Christmas present, which is very nice of her! It's... a coffee mug (I only drink cold water) with snowy London landmarks on it (why).

In other puzzling news, I haven't had to wade through two inches of water to get to the station since last spring! I was assuming it was just because we'd had such a dry summer, but there have been several downpours which 100% would have flooded the station entrance last year now. We had a whole thing where the back of our site kept flooding and our management company spent months arguing with the water company about whose fault it was, and eventually the water company admitted it was them and did a bunch of work on the main road to fix it; I'm thinking the flooding by the station must have been part of the same problem, since it's the parallel road downslope. Who knew it was actually fixable without completely reconstructing the whole rear station entrance area! My wet boots thank them from the bottom of their soles.

I've been experimenting again with the automation software at work; at this stage it's a process of continuous failure - you create a process, you run it, it falls over, you spend ten minutes working out why, you fix that, it falls over at the next step, you spend fifteen minutes and call a colleague to fix that, rinse and repeat. On the other hand, the buzz from getting anything to work (I would say "a process" but I haven't actually got a complete flow for anything yet!!) is pretty good. And if I can get the flow I was working on yesterday up and running, it'll save me a couple of hours of extremely tedious manual checks every fortnight, and I'm all in favour of that.
wychwood: Geoffrey is waving his hands again (S&A - Geoffrey hands)
([personal profile] wychwood Dec. 4th, 2025 06:48 pm)
December is busy! I looked in detail at my calendar last week and had a little meltdown about it. How do I do this to myself so often.

Anyway. On Saturday I used 7 onions, 2 aubergines, 4 peppers, 6 courgettes, a little under 1.5kg pasta, 3.5 jars of pesto, and 2 bags of cheese and made just about enough packed meals to get me through to the end of next week. On Sunday A came over and we put up my tree and made disappointing experimental maple and pecan cookies (edible, but weirdly cake-like and not particularly good). I am more-or-less up-to-date on laundry and washing up and the like, and have started my Christmas cards.

I am in the office tomorrow as usual and then every working day through to 15 December inclusive, and am also out every single one of those seven nights. Then the week after I have choir four days in a row. Then I get a whole one day off between finishing work and Christmas Eve, for which I shall be duly grateful.

I think I am sufficiently prepared to make it that far, although there's going to be a lot of things waiting for me! But I've got most of my Christmas shopping sorted, I'm OK for food, and I don't think I should run out of clothes. Anything above and beyond that is a bonus!

Also this evening I made a little graph of how many books I finished per month and the point where I stopped intensively playing computer games is extremely visible. I knew all the hand-wringing about my reading decline was futile anyway, but also it turns out that the cause is almost entirely Bioware. Spoiler: if I'm playing ten or fifteen hours of a computer game, I do not read as much, who could have predicted.
isis: ravens from the cover of The Dream Thieves (raven cycle)
([personal profile] isis Dec. 3rd, 2025 06:23 pm)
It is snowing! And I have a Cricket-cat on my desk and a Mantis-cat on the cat tree behind me; ever since we got back from our Thanksgiving vacation trip they have been sweetly clingy, especially to me. (Though I have to give props to the cat-sitter we hired through Rover.com; though I warned her that our neighbor, who had cat-sit for us previously, had never actually seen our cats, she coaxed them out of hiding on day 2 and by the middle of the week they were literally eating treats out of her hand - part of the Rover deal is daily pet photos, so I have proof!)

What I've recently finished reading:

In audio, We Are Legion (We Are Bob), book 1 of the Bobiverse series by Dennis E. Taylor, which B had downloaded from the library for our long drives to and from Scottsdale because he'd seen reviews that compared it to Murderbot. (Spoiler alert, it was nothing like Murderbot, other than that the main character is a sort of human+computer hybrid, has drones as auxiliaries, and did the equivalent of hacking its governor module - uh, removed the controlling code? - early on.)

Bob is a nerdy engineer in the early 21st C (i.e., now). After selling his tech company to a bigger one for a ton of money, he signs up to have his head cryonically frozen to be revived in the future - and straightaway gets hit by a car, killed, and frozen...and revived in the mid-22nd C into a world where the US is now a theocracy competing with the Brazilian Empire and China for world dominance. Eventually Bob's brain-copy is put into a space probe and launched amid an incipient terrestrial nuclear war, at which point the story branches out into exploration of a variety of SF staples: sentient space ships, exploration of strange new worlds, terraforming, first contact with primitive alien life, space war among competing powers, space colonization, and so on.

It's very obviously written by an engineer who is a science fiction fan, with copious homage to various classics in the genre. Lots of handwaving around the science, including one bit I have a hard time accepting, that copies of Bob (and Bob eventually makes lots of copies of his brain, which are then further copied by his copies) all differ slightly from the get-go. It seems to me an exact copy would only begin to diverge once it started having different experiences. The viewpoint characters, all iterations of Bob, don't have particularly interesting or extensive arcs; it's more that each one picks a different mission and goes after it, and we get their narrative. There is no romance or sex.

I think I probably would have abandoned it somewhere in the middle had I not been listening to the audio version, but it was sufficiently entertaining to carry us through two long drives. It's the first of a series but has a reasonable ending, even though there are many threads left hanging for future books.

In text, I started but did not get all that far into Katabasis by R. F. Kuang. Cool premise, smooth writing - but I disliked Alice, the viewpoint character, and there was just something off-putting about the whole thing. It's possible that I'm just not a fan of "dark academia" - it feels vaguely unfair to me, please keep dangerous activities for fully-grown-up adults! Anyway, I put it down, and picked up...

The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman, which was a recommendation from P. Djèlí Clark as part of the NYT "What to Read" series, in a set of "Great Fanatsy Novels With Unlikely Heroes." Which turned out to be a nice reminder that I should not read things that I don't enjoy and should read things I do, because I totally fell into this book and loved it a lot! Medieval-ish crapsack fantasy world in which the thief Kinch Na Shannack must go on a quest for the Taker's Guild in order to clear the debt he's incurred through his education in thievery.

What hooked me into the story was the first-person narrative voice, which is rambling, profane, and funny as hell. The other characters are entertaining as well, and there are a lot of truly excellent female characters. I also really liked the worldbuilding, from the weird magic, to the linguistic and geographic details, to the slowly-unfolding history of the goblin wars. There are a lot of tiny guns hung on the wall early that go off to great effect late, which I always appreciate. There is also a cat.

Alas this is the first book of a series in which the second is expected to be published next year, but it does end in a reasonable place. Also there is a prequel which I have already checked out.

What I've recently finished playing:

I completed Monument Valley 2, which was just as delightful as the first game! However, I'm having difficulty getting Horizon Forbidden West to run now, for some reason, so I may have to abandon my NG+ and find something else to play. ETA Whew, it finally worked! Though, we'll see how long I manage to replay before wanting to do something new.
Tags:
fox: my left eye.  "ceci n'est pas une fox." (Default)
([personal profile] fox Dec. 3rd, 2025 08:38 am)
fuck you, Tolstoy, you fucking fucker.
trobadora: (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan - naughty/nice)
([personal profile] trobadora Dec. 2nd, 2025 08:42 pm)
[community profile] fandomtrees sign-ups are closing on the 5th! There's still time to come and join!

(This is purely selfish, you undestand. As far as I can see, so far there are a just two or three requests for things I could write for - I'm really hoping for a bit more in my fandoms. *g*)
aquila1nz: Beth Thornton, smiling through rainbows (beth)
([personal profile] aquila1nz Dec. 2nd, 2025 04:30 pm)
AO3 Link | Everybody Knows (891 words) by Aquila
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Riot Women
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationship: Chloe/Inez
Characters: Jess Burchill, Chloe Burchill, Miranda Burchill, Rocco, Junior, Bronte, Manuela, Inez,Jerry, Auntie Mary
Additional Tags: mostly gen, with a smattering of chloe/inez, just because, family stuff, giving space, post show

Summary:

Apparently everybody knew Jess was learning the drums. Except Chloe.

Read more... )

Notes:
Apparently any attempt by me to write about Jess' family is going to sound like something out of a mid-last century English kid's books. Guess what I grew up reading.
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